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some progress

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by Alex O'Hagan, Dec 30, 2019.

  1. #1 Alex O'Hagan, Dec 30, 2019
    hey guys! so yesterdays unleashed was awesome. heard a lot of cool stuff, and mikes feedback is always great. I uploaded one of my piano sketch themes and I found out it got played after I passed out lol. mikes critique on my chord voicings inspired me to mess around with this again. I wanted to realize a little bit of the orchestration that I had in mind.
    now it's back to the piano to see how I can develop this thing further.


     
    Daniel Casson, Doug Gibson, John Eldridge and 1 other person like this.
  2. #2 Doug Gibson, Dec 30, 2019
    Sounds promising. I look forward to hearing the first draft.

    I also hope you have fun writing the music. Just keep at it.


    I would spend a little time just writing out rhythms.
    I think..... well I personally feel this is the most interesting and exciting aspect of pieces like the demo.

    Basically I can see it becoming easy to lose oneself in the "dreamy - fantasy" harmony, but IMO the lifeline is the rhythmic elements.

    But, we won't know until you post the draft. Look forward to it and my best wishes !!

     
  3. #3 Bjarke Tan, Dec 30, 2019
    I think mostly everything sound very good. You can hear that you are at a very high level. The only feedback I have is that the change from the energetic part to the more relaxing part of the music is too sudden I think it could have used more development to ease the listener into the more relaxing part. But that just my opinion. If it was intentional you did it very well.
    Good work!
     
  4. #4 Alex O'Hagan, Dec 30, 2019
    hey Doug thanks for the video, thats awesome.
    ill definently try this.
    agreed. this piece totally falls apart without that secondary rhythm in the left hand. I'll keep an I eye on that as I go on.
    thanks for the advice!
     
  5. #5 Alex O'Hagan, Jan 4, 2020
    Hey man! thanks for the complement Bjarke.
    yep i agree with you, when I wrote the piano version that B section felt so good, but now in the orchestrated version it feels like an awkward change in dynamics and color. I've been trying to fix this but it still seems kinda weird. I'll post an updated one soon, I've been messing around with some ideas on how to structure this into something longer so we'll see how that goes.
    thanks a lot for the feedback I appreciate it!
     
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