The Name Game Pro Tip:
  1. Didja accidentally blow through the whole, "We're using our real names" thing on registration? No problem, just send me (Mike) a Conversation message and I'll get you sorted, by which I mean hammered-into-obedient-line because I'm SO about having a lot of individuality-destroying, oppressive shit all over my forum.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. You're only as good as the harshest criticism you're willing to hear.
    Dismiss Notice

From The Hillside : Brass

Discussion in 'Critique & Feedback' started by John Eldridge, Apr 8, 2018.

  1. #1 John Eldridge, Apr 8, 2018
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2018
    With the brass class still fresh, I decided I better get a piece together to be able to look back later and see if I learned anything. It makes use of the same ensemble size as the class. In the end I think this one has a similar problem that Mike pointed out in my Unleashed 4 submission where the orchestration is over-homogenized. Something I need to work more on next time.

    Mockup is all Sample Modeling. Some day I'll need to learn how to do mixing, too.



    EDIT: Updated link since I made the original track private on SoundCloud.
     
    Alexander Schiborr and Paul T McGraw like this.
  2. #2 Samuel Le Tonquèze, Apr 8, 2018
    Very Nice.
    Below, some thoughts, probably far from the truth:
    1 - Legato long articulation with some crescendo are predominants (need some marc or stacc ?)
    2 - 0:40 low and medium registers covers the high register
     
    John Eldridge likes this.
  3. #3 John Eldridge, Apr 8, 2018
    Thanks for listening and for the useful feedback, Samuel!

    You are right. The only articulation variation is in the phrasing of legato versus not. I'll play around with it a bit to see if I can give it some more variety in that regard.

    At 0:40 specifically the trumpets dropped out completely to save them for the lead at 0:50. With the exception of a softer echo role at 0:43. I'm wondering if my crescendo leading up to 0:40 is making it sound like the trumpets were supposed to be playing at 0:40? Or perhaps the echo role should come out stronger so it sounds more intentional? Anyway, that's really helpful insight to know that it didn't sit right.

    Thanks again for the feedback. I've attached the score as well.
     

    Attached Files:

  4. #4 Paul T McGraw, Apr 8, 2018
    @John Eldridge you did a good job with this as a composition and as a mix. I particularly like measure 9.10 and 11 as the focus flows from trombones to horns to trumpets. The sample modeling sounds great and the relative levels of the instruments sound very good.
     
    John Eldridge likes this.
  5. #5 John Eldridge, Apr 8, 2018
    Thank you for listening and commenting, Paul. Glad you liked it.
     
    Paul T McGraw likes this.
  6. #6 Doug Gibson, Apr 9, 2018
    Just delete some instruments. The eraser is the most important part of the pencil. Timbre - who enters and who exits - is a great formal device. Just make a list of who is playing where. Then..... cut out. So if we are hearing tutti for most of the work, delete some low stuff at one section, and then delete some high stuff at another. More of a dialogue than blocks of sound.

    It's an easy fix. Sometimes, as the saying goes, less is more.
     
    John Eldridge likes this.
  7. #7 John Eldridge, Apr 9, 2018
    Solid advice. Thanks, Doug! I'll take a pass at thinning the herd and see where I land.
     
  8. #8 Alexander Schiborr, Apr 9, 2018
    Hi John,
    Actually I had time listening a couple of times to your piece. And I like it. I think sometimes it feels a bit heavy from the orchestration? But I am no near an expert with those brass choral writing things to be honest. I just go now also by the sound and probably it is the mix aspect here also. But I looked at your score and I see and hear that the trombones are heaving throughout your piece those long notes in their meatrange which makes it so grounded but also heavy. I think an idea could be to interlock voice leading a bit more and let come instruments into the game and passing out to have a bit of contrast? But again..man..noob at choral writing. But just from my cheap orchestration stuff I know I would shift the voices a bit more around and try to think about more to set a "focus". With focus I mean to have different timbre mainlines. For intance: Horns / Trumpets focus, then Trombones, Tuba Focus, then Trumpet / Trombones focus, then some trumpet soloing with some tuba. I don´t know..just the idea is more to use the capabilities of diffent brass colors? Maybe that makes sense?
     
    John Eldridge likes this.
  9. #9 John Eldridge, Apr 10, 2018
    Yep, makes sense. Thanks a lot for the feedback. I've got lots to chew on now and will come back with an updated version hopefully in not too much time.
     
  10. #10 John Eldridge, Apr 10, 2018
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2018
    Thanks so much, all, for the feedback. Helped immensely to get other perspective. I made an attempt at incorporating the feedback.

    1) Some part reassignments to make the colors shift more throughout.
    2) Gave tuba a rest a few times to allow upper sections to speak.
    3) Deleted some bits of the big crescendo to lean a bit more on part building in addition to increased dynamics.
    4) Fixed some trumpet mix issues. Had previously cut high frequencies a lot, but hadn't adjusted gain to make up for it. Now can hear trumpets better.
    5) Reperformed the primary parts on EWI to give more life to the articulations without actually changing the articulations.
    6) Let the tempo breath in a couple places.



    EDIT: Inline replaced the file to fix some phasing in the horns at the beginning. I simply removed Horn 2 from first 4 bars in the mockup, so it won't match score exactly right there.

    Thanks,
    John
     
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)

Share This Page