Feedback request

Hi, Bjarke, sorry it took a while for me to get to this. Regarding your specific question, the balance and production seemed clear to me. There is a high noise level present but that's a minor point.

Regarding the orchestration, at 1:10 - 1:27, there's a short re-statement of the melody that feels like it wants to be an understated presentation at the beginning of a build up, and yet it's manifested in the same octave string doubling that you use through to the end and its effect is very present/forward. Seems like an opportunity to hand the line to another section, or if strings are necessary, drop the violins?

Regarding the composition, from 1:27 - end, the melody hits the C a lot. You've got the bass notes moving down as you do which is good, but after a while that strong homing back to C in the melody starts to feel kind of heavy to me. If that was the intent, then all is well.

Thanks for sharing and hope this was helpful.
John

 

Hej Bjarke,

Fedt at se noderne også!

So here's my feedback on notation:
bar 1: shouldn't even be bar 1. It's starts with what's called an anacrusis or pick-up bar. In the popover write 3/4,0.5
bar 3: If your melody went from g to f# back to g you should notate it like that but since the melody moves downwards the f# should be spelled gb. Same goes for bassoons a couple of bars later. Bassoons in bar 2 and 3 should not have a d# though but eb.
bar 1: Maybe it's a fault in Dorico's condensing feature but horns and bones should be written in two voices (condensed still but with stems both upwards and downwards and no a2)
Condense bass trombone and tuba as well.
bar 1-2: awkward string skipping in violin 2 and violas.
To me theres something inherently wrong with the same slurring in piano, strings and wind. String slurs should indicate bowing that is dependent on tempo, dynamic and beat. Wind slurs should indicate breath and piano slurs should indicate phrasing, although very redundant most of the times. This is an issue throughout the score.
bar 3 piano: one hairpin too many?
bar 9: what's wrong with the numbering of players? and why are horns differently grouped for no reason?
bar 11 flutes and violins: when will the note end? in notation if you want the whole value of a bar, tie the note to a staccato eight-note in the next bar. Same goes for bar 10 trombones.
bar 11 clarinets/harp: same thing about accidentals.
bar 11 harp: slurs in harp indicate using the samme finger. simply remove them here. also a notehead equals a string. another reason to rewrite the c# to a db. those are two different strings on the harp. c# and c is the same string with different pedaling.
bar 11 piano: why not have the piano end the run?
bar 11 strings: awkward string skipping again.
bar 16: wow you should be careful with the condensing feature. Isn't there a way to prevent all four horns to condense?
bar 25 flutes/oboes: I would keep the same beat grouping as in the next bars, dividing the beams in beats.
bar 36 bones: where should the players breathe? write in the rests. same goes for bassoons next page.
bar 35 violins: same thing with accidentals and beams.
bar 50 percussion: if it's one strike on the drum/cymbal write it as a quarter note. If you want it damped then put a staccato dot. If you want it regular keep it as a quarter note. If you want it sustained for the whole bar tie it over to a staccato eight note in the next bar. If you want it to ring out write an l.v. tie.

Overall your chord voices seem very disconnected from the respective instruments lines. You could benefit from broadening your vocabulary in chord voicings so you can know which ones to go to. For example the last chord: besides the oboes being too low, the first oboes last 3 notes is Bb3 Eb4 Eb5. Those are very awkward and not melodic. If you had put the next to last bar up an octave and revoiced the chord the last three notes could be Bb4 Eb5 G5 - simply a triad. This is an issue throughout the score. I know a great deal can be transcribed but I would encourage you to get the score to a public domain score you know the sound of really well and try to reduce the woodwind voicings there.

Endnu en gang tak for at dele noderne og håber du kan bruge mit notationsinput!